Mr. Bearbull Jokes 27feb’08

27 02 2008

The Maharishi died last week but left behind some quotes:

1. The darkest hour comes just before the dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

2. Never forget you are unique, like everybody else.

3. Before you judge a person, walk a mile on his shoes. That way, when you judge him, you are a mile away and you have his shoes.

4. If at first you don’t succeed, avoid skydiving.

5. When we are born, we are naked, wet, hungry, and get smacked on the bottom. From there on, it gets worse.

6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I bought my wife a new car. She called me up and said, “There’s water in the carburetor. “I asked her, “Where’s the car? She replied, “In the lake.”





The Rabbi’s Widow

26 02 2008

The Rabbi’s Widow

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles.

The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother. Hana, told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, “My father, Shmuel, told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after saying their prayers. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you go to the synagogue it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest; and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather, Moishe, says after praying it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “So how is the new husband?”

She replied, “Well, he is no scholar; but he comes from a wonderful family.”





Jun Lozada … A Hero? or a Villain?

26 02 2008

…the so called whistle blower

…the “cry baby”

…the probinsyanong intsik

…the connivance, the “loose cannon”

…the Yellow Lady’s pet

…the “angel?”

…the “monyo?”

.

.

.

… only time will tell,

may God bless the Philippines and the Filipino people.





“Pinoy”… ano/sino nga ba ikaw?

26 02 2008

…Ano na nga ba “formula” ng tunay na “Pinoy”??…dapat ba Negrito? Ita? Mangyan? Manobo? Tausog?
…o kaya naman Meztizo Spanish, Meztizo American, Meztizo Japanese,
Mestizo Korean, Metizo African, Meztizo Chineese??.
…o dapat tagalog, o bisaya o ilakano,
…o kaya naman muslim o kristiyano??
… sa aking palagay, ang tunay na “Pinoy” ay hindi masusukat sa kulay o lahing pinagmulan, ang tunay na pinoy ay may pagmamalasakit sa kinabukasan ng Pilipinas,  sa kanyang bawat pagkilos ng tama at nararapat kahit sa mumunting paraan, maipapamalas nya ang kanyang pagsisikap na mapaunlad ang sarili at pambansang kapakanan.





Simple Changes …

26 02 2008

SIMPLE CHANGES BUT THE EFFECT IS….BIG!!

(The Law of Exponential Returns)

Personal
1.0 Never bribe any gov’t officials/personels, follow the procedure. No briber no taker.. period!

2.0 “Pumila po tayo”, you’ll know that every developed country do that.

3.0 Learn to segregate and proper diposal of garbages.

4.0 Read News. Read The Law. (MTM)

5.0 Participate in discussion like this in YOUR family. Get your children thinking about these issues. Practice critical thinking in your household. (MTM)

6.0 Practice Delicadeza (jubre)

7.0 Eliminate “Maniana Habit” and the so called Filipino time. Be on time always and practice time management to compensate for delays due to traffic, etc!

8.0 ” … ang problema din, pag nag-pito ng foul, mas marami pang violation para hindi marinig ung pito” (jubre)
<– because everybody thinks he’s always better than the rest,
<– why not shut our mouth for a while and let our ears do the work, then I’m sure we will be able to hear what the other person is saying.
<– Let’s STOP WHINING… and start do the act.

9. 0 “naalala ko tuloy ng sumasali sali pa ko sa mga student left groups nun… daming issues gusto labanan, puro dakdak… wala naman nagawa” (warhead)
<– same as number 8.0

Social/Community/Local Govt.

1.0 Let’s clean our enviroment and plant trees!

2.0 Dont give “puny” alms to beggars, let’s keep them out of the streets and
support NGO’s to train them and have a descent livelihood. Street children must
be fed regularly and sent to school, were do the govt budget and our taxes
goes? ….. to kurakot??!!
Must Spend it properly… esp to the children, for they are our futures.

3.0 Implement family planning. A MUST!

4.0 Pay the correct tax due (enzomax)

5.0 Chat regularly with your barangay/LGUs. Join town assemblies. (MTM)

6.0 Stop thinking that personal changes can be taken in isolation, without regard for the welfare of Filipinos surrounding you. (MTM)

7.0 Aim to participate in community service, whether as part of your local government, or in aid of your local government. This with the aim of improving your local community. (I’m sure some FMers are already actively part of homeowner’s associations, clubs, and the like here.) (MTM)

8. enter government service and lets apply above lists ourselves (jollibee9)
<– to all politicos wannabee dyan

9. Stop romanticizing sacrifices. The last phrase of our national anthem, “ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo” is stupid. Ika nga ni Gen. Patton, let our enemies die for their country. Last man standing is the winner. (bigbro)
<– “Magtanim ay di Biro Maghapon Nakayuko”… why do we need to suffer??
Modernization will solve all that planting troubles!

11. Stop celebrating lost causes. Fall of Bataan. Death of Rizal, Death March, etc. Mga losers po ang mga yon. About time to celebrate common triumph. Edsa 1 and 2 are divisive and should be archived. (bigbro)
<– come to think of it, mas marami pa ako naalala na trahedya at pagkatalo kumpara sa mga
triumphs?? Winning lang ni Paquiao naalala ko… kayo ba??

12. Reduce so many fiestas. Those are empty events. They are rooted from slavery of our forefathers. (bigbro)
<– Magagalit Lola at Lolo natin nito… hehehe

13. Make our society truly secular. Religion has no place in governance.
<– NGAYON NA!!

14. Stop glorifying poverty. There is nothing to be proud about it. “Its ok to be poor as long as happy” is hogwash. Those mouthing it never lived a truly poor life. (bigbro)

13. “engaging with you guys through this board is enough for me…. that is my share” (Jubre)
<– thank you, and a good public service at that matter.

15. “We are a fcking corrupt culture. Changes are just a matter of degree. That is reality. Those who emigrate to other countries, OK that’s their choice and it makes sense. Those of us who stay here, well, we know we live in a corrupt society and a corrupt culture and all these exhortations that we hear and all this religious zeal – again, historical perspective is needed. Been there done that – long ago. There is nothing new. Just carve out your circle of safety and prosperity for your family within this snakepit”. (anted’)
<– and we all know that, but is that supposed to be? And if we accept that as the case, are we going to be as happy seeing our children and grandchildren grow in this “fcking” society?
<– if we do not initiate changes now, who else will… and when?
<– NOW is the time!! Tomorrow may be too late!!

16. “and yes, definitely, taking to the streets now doesn’t mean that we want toppling of gov’t.. it just checks their power…pinapaalam natin sa kanila na tayo pa din mamamayan ang big boss at hindi sila.. kung tumahimik tayo baka lalong grumabe” (hottips)
<– a strong point, and that should be the actual case.
<– may I just add that since we majority of people can show our strength if needed be, let’s voice out strongly our concerns for change…like this which we are advocating…the more we can combine positively our individual efforts the more we can get better outcome…for the benefit of all Filipinos.

National Level

1. Implementation of National ID system (rgi)
1.a This will serve as stand alone documents.
1.b Registration System
1.c Integrated system
1.d In the future this will serve as our passport
…just imagine kung ilang corrupt goverment agency ang ma pe-phase out nito.

2. All gov transaction should be paid thru debit card or nets..e.g NBI,Income tax,Passport, NSO etc. (rgi)
<– agree ako ditto, moneyless transactions means no money to get in hand, no temptations..all transactions are recorded as well

3. Each one of us astrive to leave a lasting legacy for the Filipino Nation
in anyway we can.

4. A BOOK… GOOD IDEA AGAIN and then we’ll desiminate this to all filipino families (MTM)
<– we can all share on the upbringing of that book…

5. “its sad isn’t it? that we have to fight each other to preserve the little that we have, whether it be freedoms or property?”
<– really, really very sad fact. Come to realize that only if we all come to peace, we can divert our huge military budgets onto infrastructures, education and economic agendas.
<– let us all give peace a chance.

Let’s keep ideas coming !!! Whatever they maybe as long as we feel
it may have an impact on our maiden objectives..
Building a Better Philippines





Warren Buffet – Short Biography

26 02 2008

Warren Buffett: a short biography

Early life Buffet was born in 1930 in Omaha, Nebraska, the son of a stockbroker and Congressman, and has become probably the world’s most successful investor. As a boy, irrespective of his family background, he delivered newspapers to make extra money and this probably sparked his interest in the media where he has made several successful investments including the Washington Post Company, a stock that has made him a lot of money and which he vows never to sell. Imbued with a determination to make good and an entrepreneurial nature, Warren dabbled in several part time businesses but his destiny was chartered early in the piece when, after graduating from the University of Nebraska, he studied business at the Columbia Graduate Business School under the legendary Benjamin Graham.

Working with Benjamin Graham

He tried to get a position with Graham’s firm and was at first unsuccessful. He finally got the job and, as he generously acknowledges, learned a lot about stock investment from The Master. Graham eventually retired and Buffett started a limited partnership in Omaha, using capital contributed by family and friends. The partnership was a great success and Buffett is said to have averaged an annual rate of return for the partnership in excess of 23 per cent, far in excess of the market.

Buying Berkshire Hathaway

Buffett, after several years, decided to wind up the partnership, returning the lucky investors their capital and their share of the profits, and bought an interest in Berkshire Hathaway, a textile company, giving his original investors the the chance to invest. The smart ones did so. Buffett’s early days at Berkshire Hathaway were not great. The company was in an industry facing real challenges from exports and high manufacturing costs. Warren Buffett had not, however, forgotten what he had learned under Graham, and arranged for the company to buy out two Nebraska insurance companies. This was the start of Buffett’s interest in insurance and the rise to financial fame of both himself and Berkshire Hathaway. The insurance game is a hard one but under Buffett, the company has become, not only a successful share investor, but a leading provider of insurance.

Buffett and Charlie Munger

 Buffett struck up a friendship with Charles T Munger, a lawyer and investor and Charlie Munger eventually joined Warren at Berkshire Hathaway as his Vice-Chairman, alter ego, and friend. Warren Buffett is always the first to acknowledge the contribution that Charlie Munger has made to Berkshire Hathaway. (Listen to an interview with Charlie Munger, or read our biography) Under Buffett and Munger, Berkshire Hathaway has become an investment giant that wholly owns a number of successful companies that include: Geico Corporation Nebraska Furniture Mart See’s Candy Shops

Warren Buffet, the man

Warren Buffett, the man, is just as hard to define as Warren Buffett, the investor. He projects a homespun frugality but one suspects that he plays his personality as close to the chest as he does his investment secrets. He always claims that it is his partner, Charlie Munger, who keeps his feet planted firmly in the ground. Warren Buffet has become a legend and is generally ranked, along with his mentor, Benjamin Graham, first in a stellar cast of investors that includes Peter Lynch, John Neff, and Philip Fisher.

Best Warren Buffett biography

 The best full-length Buffett biography that we have come across is Buffett, The Making of an American Capitalist, by Robert Lowenstein.





QDC International Speech Contest – “Humility in Defeat”, CCTM proj 7

23 02 2008

“Humility in Defeat “

I had read from the history books… A long time ago, there was a battle made infamous somewhere in Europe.

Fellow toastmasters, guests and honorable judges, A pleasant good evening.

On the 18th day of June year 1815, somewhere in Brussels, Belgium, the so called battle of the titans, the final battle of the Hundred Day War, the battle between Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte’s French legions against the Anglo-Allied Forces led by Duke Of Wellington…… The Battle at Waterloo took place.

As I imagined the story written, it was a stretch of a field with an area of about 10km long and 4 km wide. The rolling hills and valleys drench and wet due to heavy downpour of rain from the previous night. While gazing from that horizon, I can see the green fields covered by men in red uniform while on the other side men were all clad in blue.

On both side the generals and officers riding horses alongside cavalry men all line up on battle formation. The infantry men gripped their guns with sweaty nervous hands. All the cannons were loaded and ready to fire!Napoleon’s legions, all 70,000 of them were much feared at that time. They have the edge, experience and mostly were proud battle tested veterans. While the Duke of Wellington England, who leads the allied forces gathered more than 145,000 men from England, Germany and Prussia, though they outnumbered Napoleons legions, mostly were young and inexperienced in war.

The morning has become silent yet deafening, and you can feel the high energy about to explode at any moment. The scent of impending death is enough to raise the hair on your skin.

On Napoleon orders, ready….fire! Cannons roared BOOM!! BOOM!! sending volleys of cannonballs in the air. Ka-Boom! Ka-boom! Explosion brings instant death upon impact. The allies retaliated with fire….Ka-boom!

At the end of that day, Napoleon the once proud emperor had finally fought his last battle and was humbled in defeat in Waterloo. And from that day onwards, the name Waterloo was made to signify humility in defeat”.

Fellow Toastmasters and guests, in our lifespan, once in a while we shall experience Waterloo. Yes, I personally had my Waterloo! For the information of our judges and guests, in QDC Toastmasters, I was for a while called the “Humorous King”, yet at the humorous speech contest, like Emperor Napoleon, I was humbled in defeat. But today, as I entered another contest, I may loose and be humbled once more. Shall I forever despair in defeat? …Never! I will keep my waterloo in remembering and will treat them as my learning experience.

This is just the beginning! I know that at the right time and the right place…unlike Napoleon the Great, I will rise victorious from my Waterloo.

*************************

 

<– at the conclusion of the contest, I did rise from my Waterloo…. I won the 2nd Place !!! Congratulations !!!