The Rabbi’s Widow

26 02 2008

The Rabbi’s Widow

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles.

The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother. Hana, told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, “My father, Shmuel, told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after saying their prayers. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you go to the synagogue it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest; and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather, Moishe, says after praying it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “So how is the new husband?”

She replied, “Well, he is no scholar; but he comes from a wonderful family.”


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