The following was voted the best joke in Ireland in 2007. John Kelly was in a pub; he lifted his glass of beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between my wife’s legs.” That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”
She said, “Did you, now? And what did you say?”
John replied, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.”
“Oh, that’s very nice indeed, John.”
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking friends on the street corner. The man laughed and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Yes, he told me and I was rather surprised myself. You know, he’s been there only twice in the past four years. Once, he fell asleep, the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”